I never planned on going to Oberlin, but nevertheless, that’s where I found myself one day as a lost and somewhat bewildered freshperson (yep, “Obies” were fond of their PC language). Oberlin’s liberal crunchy granola-ness threw me for a loop, and I was really turned off by the idealism I found myself surrounded by. A whole campus of folks who thought they could actually change the world? Singlehandedly? Sheesh. The corny recruiting poster that seemed to be everywhere on campus was a frequent source of irritation (and for those who cannot make out the text in this photo, it says “Think one person can change the world? So do we.”).
In hindsight, I suppose I became an Obie because it’s what I needed most to learn. Now that poster doesn’t seem so corny. The idea that we can singlehandedly change the world seems almost self-evident. What caused such a turnaround?
I learned that talent is overrated as a predictor of success.
For much of my life, I operated under the naïve assumption that the cream always rises to the top, and if you were talented, you would be successful. But that’s not often the case. Think about the most successful people you know. Are they also the smartest, most gifted, most talented folks you know? Probably not.
So what can we take from that?
To me, it means that we are all far more capable of making a difference in the world and leaving a bigger footprint than we give ourselves credit for. But how?
Poet Nancy Willard once said, “Sometimes questions are more important than answers.” Well, if that’s the case let’s ask some questions, shall we?
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It has been suggested that each of us is the answer to some problem that exists in the world. And in solving this problem and reshaping the world in some personally meaningful way, we are most likely to find success and personal satisfaction.
Indeed, this is how a headhunter would coach you to present yourself in an interview. You are not there to find out if the employer likes you or not, or if they think you could do the job or not. You are there to describe the specific problem you see the company having, and offer to solve this particular problem with your unique vision and set of skills and abilities. A much more confidant stance, no?
So this raises an interesting question. What problems in the world are musicians uniquely qualified to solve?
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Have you ever heard the phrase “perception is reality?”
I read a book the other day in which the author described one such experience. During a ride on the subway, a man and his young children entered and sat down near him. The children were yelling, being rowdy, and disturbing the other passengers, while the man stared off into space, seemingly oblivious to their antics and rudeness. After he had seen enough, the author asked the man if he might do something to control his children’s behavior. The man looked at him, apologized, and explained that they had just come from the hospital where his wife had died about an hour ago, noting that he wasn’t sure how to deal with this and that the kids probably didn’t know how to handle it either.
Imagine you were this author. Can you imagine how quickly your feelings would have shifted from irritation to compassion?
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Here’s something to try the next time you’re in a toy store and have access to an inquisitive 3-year old kid and some electrician’s tape. Tear off a big long piece of tape and use it to mark off a circle on the ground, about 3-feet in diameter. Put the toddler in the circle and see how long it takes for him or her to wander out of the circle.
5 seconds…maybe?
Ok, try to gently steer the little one back into the circle. What happens?
If this child is anything like most, the harder you try to get the little bugger back into the circle, the more he or she resists. Unless, of course, you know the trick (more on this later).
So how does this relate to you and performing at a higher level?
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There are lots of books and articles out there about perfectionism, but they are all a little biased. Specifically, they all deal with how not to be a perfectionist. That’s all fine and dandy, but what about all those poor underrepresented souls who want some advice on how to become a more perfect perfectionist? Well, here it is.
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